Tuesday 31 August 2021

'Sitting under the shades of a gulmohar tree, I was busy examining the eggs of a dead snail's...'

31 August 1994 | Habit Formation

#memoriesfromdiaries 💕

[from my personal diary entry of 27 years ago] 😍

In this post, I intend to look at habit formation with the help of two main sources –

My past diary entry for this same day, that I’d written down during my HSC days!

and

James Clear’s Atomic Habits - an amazing book that I’ve so loved reading!

Well, all of us would have sure known about the three types of motivation!

1. Fear-based motivation

2. Incentive-based motivation

3. Internal [or intrinsic] motivation

James Clear gives much emphasis on the third type of motivation –

Intrinsic motivation!

Interestingly, the book is subtitled, ‘An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones’.

Says Clear, James Clear -  

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when –

a habit becomes part of your identity.

The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it.

For example -

If you’re proud of how your hair looks, you’ll develop all sorts of habits to care for and maintain it.

If you’re proud of the size of your biceps, you’ll make sure you never skip an upper-body workout.

If you’re proud of the scarves you knit, you’ll be more likely to spend hours knitting each week.

Once your pride gets involved, you’ll fight tooth and nail to maintain your habits.

True behaviour change is identity change.

You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.

Anyone can convince themselves to visit the gym or eat healthy once or twice, but if you don’t shift the belief behind the behaviour, then it is hard to stick with long-term changes.

Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.

The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.

The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.

The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.

What inspiring lines from Clear – James Clear, ain’t it?

On a similar vein, thought of opening up for the first time, after 27 long years, with help from my past diary, on one interesting habit that I’ve cultivated, and that’s become part of my identity (as James Clear says!) - for more than three decades now –

- the habit of taking down notes!

Be it any talk or lecture or discourse or symposium!

If I am part of the event - rest assured - I’m sure bound to have a little note book and a pen, and you can find me taking down notes with the utmost attention and concentration!

I guess this habit was ingrained in us through our parents and all our teachers as well!

It was Appa who first gave me this idea – to take down notes from classes that I attended – just to make sure that I concentrate – and then to ‘report’ to him on that!

Thus started this habit, when I was in my tenth grade!

from my personal diary, 31 August 1994

There’s been no turning back ever since!

I’ve found that, taking down notes has not only helped me concentrate on the talk (or the lecture) but has also helped me recollect, reinforce and recall with double the fervour, on whatever has been written down – weeks, months and years from then on!

Coming back,

On this particular day, went for jogging at 5.35 am, followed by my coffee time!

Parthiban Sir (our warden) wrote down the names of hostelers who were late for their morning study time.

After cleaning up my cubicle, I headed straight for the morning Assembly, where our Headmaster shared an incident that was quite a thriller.

It seems, in the year 1958, when he was a young boy, playing with marbles near his house, he witnessed a murder opposite his house.

A 13-year old boy had given a false witness saying so-and-so had committed the murder, which then led to the conviction of an innocent person!

But later on, when he grew up, his conscience kept troubling him, and he couldn’t bear it any longer!

So he decided to go straight to the jail where the innocent person was incarcerated, and asked for his forgiveness from him!

So don’t do anything that your conscience doesn’t approve of, he said.

Coming back,

After reading the day’s newspaper, headed school-ward!

First hour we had PT!

Sitting under the shades of a beautiful gulmohar tree, in the little me-space, I was busy examining the eggs of a dead snail’s – something the size of our homeopathy tablets – little white balls in little clusters! 😍

Our English classes were those wonder-hours that we eagerly longed for!

And our jovial English Master never failed to enthrall us!

We had a mobile Higginbothams' bus visiting us in Campus today – a completely air-conditioned bus in which books were stacked up in such tempting ways!

Let me also confess on an aside that,

Two things that can tempt me much-o-much are – Books & Coffee!

So bought three lovely books at the mobile book store, coughing up all the pocket money I had saved over the last few weeks!

Night, after study time, played chess with the indefatigable Sunil, and as usual, I lost!

Sunil was an expert at the game you see, and there’s no stopping him!

Today was no exception! 🤗

PS: You may also want to read a little review of Clear - James Clear’s Atomic Habits on our past post HERE!

Monday 30 August 2021

'Hence, when I was tipped off by my friend Alfath about the arrival of Navjot Sidhu, I was so excited...'

30 August 1994 | Ol’ habits die hard!

(27 years ago) 💛

#memoriesfromdiaries 💕

Today woke up at 5.30 am. After the customary jogging time for all of us, we gave our roll call!

Had Coffee (as usual) with my friend Mani.

From my personal diary entry, 30 Aug 1994

One beautiful habit that I’d picked up during the course of my hostel life, all thanks to our hostel wardens, (and something that I’ve tried sustaining thus far in my life) is that,

before we left our hostel (home) for school we had to make double sure that our cubicle (our space) including our wardrobe, our book shelves, our shoe stacks etc have all been neatly done!

And this i did, as usual, with a host of my fellow hostelers giving me company!

Another habit that’s tagged along with me thus far, is - 

the habit of reading the day’s newspaper.

On this particular day, I had joined a little band of readers in reading the day’s The Hindu before leaving for my classes!

Coming back, 

During English class, we had our usual quiz time, and our group won with a thumping majority.

So we received our long-delayed, often longed for honours today - a royal salute from all the other groups!

Came back to my cubicle (my sweet little space) and rested for a while, before getting back for afternoon classes by 12.35 pm.

You see, football matches were a rave and a rage in our school.

The battle was usually between MCC School and Don Bosco!

With any other school, it woulda sure lacked the punch and the pinch!

But with Don Bosco - all of us – right from the Headmaster till the juniormost hosteler were there in full attendance.

That’s because Don was one unbeatable Don on the football front!

[Prof. Lakshminarayanan, Retd Professor of Physics, MCC has shared these fond memories with me - of the sweet rivalry between Don Bosco & MCC, he being a Don Bosco-ite!]

And I hope you could visualize our joy unbounded, when we gave a sweet thrashing to our opponents by a phenomenal margin of 4 – 0!

Coming back,

Today I got a letter from Amma!

Today I also posted four letters to my friends, kith & kin.

‘School-given letters’ here would mean that, our School had subsidized Postal covers with the name of our School emblem embossed on them!

We just had to write our thoughts on a foolscap paper and place them inside this cover! That means we didn’t need a postage stamp at all!

Added, that was one beautiful way the school encouraged us all to write!

[How we all wish that the art of letter writing is back in vogue yet again today!]

On this particular day I wrote four letters and went on to post them [without a moment’s delay] at the Hostel office, where we had a postbox waiting to give wings to our words!

Coming back,

Today, Navjot Singh Sidhu, our Indian team’s test cricketer visited our school.

You see, we had the MRF Pace Foundation in Campus, which had almost all famous cricketers visiting our Campus on a regular basis for their coaching.

A current snapshot from Wikipedia

[On an aside, I should add that, we were all so blessed to have those occasional glimpses of Sachin, Srinath, Zaheer, Jonty Rhodes, Hanse Cronje, Azharuddin, Mongia, among others whenever Madam Luck smiled her gentle smile on us!]

Hence, when I was tipped off by my friend Alfath about the arrival of Navjot Singh Sidhu, I was so excited.

Alfath, one of those rare few to have a ‘foreign’ camera on him, got ready his camera to click some shots with the legend!

But carelessness cost me dearly. Couldn’t have a glimpse of the great Sidhu.

However, compensated for it, with an unexpected and sweet win in our night-time chess, well into the eighth game, and that too, over the unbeatable Girish!

This takes our final tally with three wins on either side, and two, drawn!

Friday 27 August 2021

'The Gala 159th Annual Day Celebrations...'

27 August 1994 | 159th Annual Day

#memoriesfromdiaries

Same day, 27 years ago | HSC Days 💕

Today was a red-letter day for our School! 🥰

Morning woke up at 5.30! Went for roll call to the playground.

We read the daily newspaper and then our favvy Tinkle, before making our way yet again to the playground!

My personal diary entry, 27 August 1994

Today we had the 159th Annual Day Celebrations of our School. 

A beautiful tent was erected for the purpose, with extra decors on all possible sides. 

Flags and festoons were also lined up on either side of the roads leading to the venue.

Our Additional Director General of Police Shri R. Rajagopalan was our Chief Guest of the day.

The ambience was so cool and lovely, thanks to the previous night’s downpour that had quenched the heat of the place, and a resultant cool breeze was palpable on all sides of the venue.

from my personal diary entry, 27 August 1994, page 2

Then the three of us – Sunil, Ghouse and myself - we went to Hotel Suprabha, and had barottas (6.50/- each), dosais (5.50/- each) and rose milk (4.00/- each).

A current screenshot of a review on Hotel Suprabha

Hotel Suprabha was known for its yummilicious food and hence we hostelers used to flock to this hotel, whenever we stood a chance!

A current screenshot on Hotel Suprabha's closure

[Well, just this evening, a tad bit curious, I wanted to google for Hotel Suprabha, just to know if the Hotel is still up and active, but to my shock, google tells me that, ‘Hotel Suprabha has been permanently closed!’]

From my personal diary entry, 27 August 1994

Coming back,

We all had our bath, dressed up sprightly in our uniforms, and then played chess for some time. 

Then we went ahead to witness the various events as part of our 159th Annual Day Celebrations.

Yes! Our 159th Annual Day Celebrations! This present year (2021) happens to be the 186th year of our School's inception! 

Midway through the events, Sunil and myself, we quietly made a quick escape for our routine ice-cream treat. After having relished our blessed ice-cream time, we came back, right in time for the arrival of our Chief Guest who had just then alighted from his car, to full police honours.

As per protocol, he went to the Headmaster’s room and then came to the playground.

A huge crowd of parents and children were already seated in the neatly decked up chairs in the playground.

Around 1.30 pm, the track & field events like running, long jump and high jump took off to a grand start.

Students from the North East performed a beautiful Bamboo dance.

Then we had a song, followed by a drill performance by 480 students from classes six to eight!

This was followed by a speech by our Chief Guest of the day, Shri R. Rajagopalan.

He instituted a prize for proficiency in Std 10, valued at Rs.1001/- and he said that the Prize should be named the Director General of Police Prize for General Proficiency.

Recollecting fondly on his childhood days at MCC School, he said that, he used to come to the playground here to play cricket, during the years 1958-59!

He also said that, we should help others in need.

Our MCC Principal Dr. Gladstone presided over the function.

Our OBA [Old Boys Association] also participated in a variety of events.

We had the routine rope race or the tug of war, which was quite exciting till the finish.

In the first round, our students won hands down!

But our AHMs Mr. Jayaraman and Mr. Sunder Singh did an amazing tug on the rope and they ended up having the last laugh.

Our warden Mr. Ranjan also got a Prize, and when he went to the podium to receive the prize, we hostelers gave him a standing ovation!

Two prizes were instituted by our old students.

And that brings us to the end of the 159th celebrations of our School!

Thursday 26 August 2021

'Respect is the greatest expression of Love!' 🥰

26 August 1994 | Teen Tugs

#memoriesfromdiaries

From 27 years ago | HSC Days

[And well, before you go ahead, please do bear in mind that these are a teenager’s musings down memory-lane, via diary-lane, of some 27 years ago!]

From my personal diary entry, 26 August 1994

Morning woke up at 5.30 am, and went for roll call to the beautiful, rain-drenched playground! 🌨️🌨️🌨️

We were asked to go for just one round around the playground because of the heavy rains that had finished on their date with the city for the whole of the last past night!

Well, you see, I’ve always had this quaint fascination for those little puddles of water that spring up so sweet after the rains!

And today was my ‘field’ day on the puddles 😎 - puddles - that had freshly carved a niche for themselves in such sweet snatches and patches, all over the playfield! 

There’s this something about the rain water that makes it so enticing and so alluring, that every now and then, I became so engrossed on these fascinating rain-water puddles, and hence began to heartily indulge myself in that once-in-a-rain-time luxury of drenching my legs in toto, on those beautiful temporal, rain-made, rain-designed, rain-crafted water cisterns! 😍

Nature’s craft at its best! 👌

On this particular day, something happened!

Sunil fought with me for some reason, and as a result, didn’t talk with me. 

Since he was the one who didn’t talk with me, I also stayed put, not extending the proverbial olive branch, waiting for his anger to vaporize into thin air, and then for him to extend it!

[PS: Since it’s almost three decades now, thought of opening up for the very first time on this bitter-sweet episode, with the avowed aim of helping out some good soul who’s going through a similar predicament! 

Cos, even today, this past episode continues to reverberate on me! 

Say for example, if a person today, continues to give me a string of incessant non-stop calls over the phone, I feel a tad bit insecure and threatened, so much that, I even go to the extent of blocking them from off my phone and my life forever! 

Whoever they may be! 🙈

That’s hence wanted to share this part of the diary, which I also feel is highly therapeutic, and helps in giving me a great sense of closure as well!] 

You see, he was extremely-extremely-extremely possessive of me! 

He had very few friends. 

With others he won’t smile or laugh or speak his heart out. With me he was his usual self, cheerful and happy all of the time!

So he wanted me to be always there with him, and listen to him, sing to him, talk to him, and exchange stories with him!

But that wasn’t my way at all! 🙈

I had a host of other friends also who mattered to me lots! Who were so cheerful, bubbly, vibrant and happy-go-lucky types! 👬👬

Just because he felt a bit possessive about me, doesn’t mean I’ve to oblige him all of the time, to his dictates and bidding, ain’t it?

Say for example, I went for coffee or breakfast or lunch with any other friend, he would be so angry that he’d come straight to my cubicle, when I was busy on some work or the other, and pick up a quarrel with me!

‘Why did you leave me and go?’ was his most common refrain!

I guess that’s only because he somehow failed to realise that his friend is also another human being who also has his own sweet individuality and space, the same way he does!

He wanted me caged to his whims and fancies, and dance to his tunes all of the time, as if my sweet and doting parents had been expending a royal fortune of a sum on me, enrolling me in the hostel here just to be subservient to his dictatorial whims and fancies every other day!

On this particular day, he picked up a tussle with me for one such flimsy-o-flimsy reason, and hence didn’t talk to me for some time!

Evening, I was in the playground, when he came all the way and spoke to me!

I too, for my part, quite forgetful and completely unaware of the fact that he had fought with me just the morning, went all the way and spoke to him! 😍

Only later did I realise that we had had a tiff, indeed! 😋

He had to go for an eye test today!

Well, in this regard, I also wish to reiterate that, but for this aspect of possessiveness, he was such an amazing friend. 😎

But possessiveness is not a virtue, ain’t it? 🙈

It takes a heavy toll on a person’s individuality, making them more a victim than a friend in the process, ain’t it?

That’s hence, on this backdrop, me thought of sharing some little musings on friendship!

Well, possessiveness becomes a strain on any good friendship!

Possessiveness leads to demands on your time, leading to extremes of dependency, stifling your unique voice, your sense of individuality, and freedom in the process!

Possessiveness may sometimes even lead to cunning and manipulation with the aim of controlling a friend by all means!

That’s hence possessiveness leads to aggressiveness at times!

Teaches us lots on the importance of respecting a friend’s space and boundaries, ain’t it?

And when does a friend do that?

When they have trust and respect for you!

As the philosopher Cicero once famously said,

‘Nothing endures that cannot be trusted!’

And a toxic friendship is sure gotta have a negative effect on your mental health as well!

Friendships are sweet, voluntary relationships, that are mutually enriching, empowering and energizing!

Yes, they are mutually satisfying as well!

Each and every one of us deserves to have a friend who will build us up, not put us down!

A friend who will make us, not break us!

A friend who will make us feel better all the time! Not bitter all the time!

A friend who will give wings to our imaginations, not clip them off!

In short, if a friendship doesn’t empower you or make you breathe easy, it’s about time you give a rethink on that friendship!

Because, life is too short to be spent on a space that’s so stifled, wingless and disempowered, in toxic company, when there’s a beautiful bright world out there waiting for you to fly high-o-high, dance to your own sweet beat, in your own unique ways, all through your sweet and precious days in the company of friends who respect you - your space - and your place - in their lives!

That brings us back to the tagline of this post - 

Respect is the greatest expression of Love! 🥰

How sweet and how true! 😇😇😇

On the Good Ol' Sundial @ MCC...!

 


Wednesday 25 August 2021

'Headmaster was all up and ready with a long, lanky stick on him...'

25 Aug 1994 | Bonus Dream-time! 🥰

#memoriesfromdiaries 💕

Each and every day of our week days was a kinda ordeal for us all – hostelers!

You know why!!!

From my personal diary entry, 25 August, 1994

Yes! waking up at 5.00 am was a huge deal or an ordeal, what with all the arattais and discussions and games of chess all through the night, that goes on and on and on and on!

So today we had some additional dream-time on us!

The reason -

Water scarcity hit us hard! 🙃

Remember, yesterday’s happenings? When a majority of us were in for a devastating drubbing!?

from my personal diary entry, 25 August 1994

So yes! Today we all made a beeline to our classes in as quick a time as possible! 😇

Headmaster was all up and ready with a long, lanky stick on him, with his inimitable prying eyes, waiting for that kutty little yet precious opportunity to wield his wonder-stick on some pavapetta, gullible pupil on the go!

Coming back,

The Physics Lab was as old as could be, with the trappings of those colonial vestiges visible all over them!

A robust regality was there in the air!

Added, lab zones were strict-o-strict silent zones!

At a time when you are supposed to maintain pin-drop silence, there was a pen-drop that unsettled the silence!

Yes! mea culpa! Sunil maxima culpa! 😀

In our enthusiasm with the experiments, we both had mistakenly dropped our pens to the floor. 

But we dare not bend down to take them even, as our Physics master was known for his tantrums and intolerance for any kind of distractions whatsoever on his own grand pettai – the lab zone! 😎

Coming back,

Our Botany Master was fondly called our very own superfast express! 😍

That’s because he used to take classes at break-neck speed!

All his classes were on full-throttle mode all of the time!

Like those nightingales of Keats, that sing their songs in such full-throated ease, our Botany master was always on song, all along his lectures with us!

Coming back,

After classes, we had our sweet blessed time-off with Mummy (Our ice-cream vendor) for our chweet Choco-bars (6.50/-)

[Rupees 6.50 was kinda a huge amount then, you see, judging by the standards of 27 years ago!]

But still, a choco-bar is a choco-bar is a choco-choco-choco-bar aint it? 🤗😋🤗