Class Discussions | A Report 💛
Presented by Ganesh Aadhitya S
Well…
it's time for the “Love Gurus” of II MA class to unleash their
teachings on the ever-puzzling nature of love!
The
magic of life lies in who loves whom!
“We
are asleep until we fall in Love!” holds Leo Tolstoy in War and Peace. Love has never been out
of vogue. From the historic stone inscriptions to the present day stories, it
is the secret of love that has been the cosmic emotion that drives our otherwise
insignificant lives.
The
myriad forms of Love outnumber the stars in the sky.
Love is both selfish and selfless; kind and cruel; fickle and forever; heaven
and hell. While the great Plato believed that ‘love is a grave mental disease,'
Oscar Wilde asks - “Who, being loved, is poor?”
The
quirky two-minute silence of II MA class after Preethi posed her
question rather perfectly embodies the complexity of the subject matter. It
took nearly five minutes for the question to sink in despite it seeming like a
simple query on the surface level - “Is it easier to be loved or to love?”
“Both
are not easy,” began Bhavya, setting the stage for a
stimulating discussion. She is of the opinion that it takes a great deal of
effort “to love” and “be loved”. Being her considerate self, she however did
not hesitate to add that some might have lost the opportunity to love and “not
everyone gets the chance” to be loved, to which Gladson readily agreed.
Abishek
encourages people to “love themselves” first before proceeding to love
others. He places self-love on the top of the “love chain”, giving a secondary
position to every other kind of love. Abishek, in a way, evokes the thoughts
shared by the Chinese philosopher Confucius on self-sufficiency in The Analects - “What the ordinary mortal
seeks is in others; what the superior person seeks is in himself.”
Adding
to the lively discussion, Dr. Rufus emphasised the need to learn the
art of self-celebration, for “being uniquely you is the best person you can
be”.
One
should not hesitate to acknowledge their idiosyncrasies, failing which
they will become what Oscar Wilde calls “the other people” in his long letter De Profundis (1905): “Most people are
other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation.”
Immanuel
Gifton chooses to side with the “Loving” as it is much simpler to
shower our love on people in general, instead of waiting for love to be
reciprocated. To love is unexacting and undemanding, feels Gifton.
Elanithi
opined that both loving and being loved are equally hard. He
emphasised on the sacrificial nature of love and how it leads to a healthy
relationship - “When you want to love somebody, compromises should be made.”
Adding
to Elanithi's views, Dr. Rufus said, “Kids, always remember
that Literature transforms and Theory liberates.” Sir then illustrated his
vital point on how “Theory” royally celebrates differences. If X and Y are from
different traditions, they can understand each other better by having an open
mind that appreciates the cultural differences.
Further,
Rufus sir encouraged the students to watch liberating movies such
as the 2021 Malayalam hit “The Great Indian kitchen,” that brings out the
subtleties of a patriarchal household that promotes Sexism. Sir further pointed
out how Gender inequality, still prevalent in our society at large, should be
countered vehemently to help women escape the drudgery of “the kitchen”.
Life
is all about celebrating our “otherness”. Hence,
effecting a compromise to celebrate the other person adds more meaning to our
lives.
Adding
to sir's point, in a similar vein, I feel compelled to mention
Virginia Woolf, who urged the human race to be more humane in a beautiful
passage from “Mrs. Dalloway” -
“As
we are a doomed race, chained to a sinking ship, as the
whole thing is a bad joke, let us, at any rate, do our part; mitigate the
suffering of our fellow-prisoners; decorate the dungeon with flowers and
air-cushions; be as decent as we possibly can.”
Next
in line, Joanson spoke like a truly enlightened Love Guru, when he
expertly revealed the ultimate secret of Love to be the “selflessness” that
accompanies it. Commenting on how “the
satisfaction of loving” someone is enough for him, he said - “Love will come in
many ways and one must be selfless in accepting this. If you love someone, it
isn't necessary for the other person to love you. Instead Love will reveal
itself through its many faces.”
According
to the teachings of Joanson, Life is inconsiderably ephemeral. He
says - “Life gives you something and
even before we tend to unravel it, it goes away. To love and to be loved is
just like that. The emotion remains for eternity even if the subject leaves.
One who understands this, understands Love.”
To
further make the class understand his point, He
quoted a line from the famous Tamil song 'Ninaithu Ninaithu Paarthen' which
appears in “7G Rainbow Colony”:
"எடுத்து
படித்து முடிக்கும் முன்னே, எரியும் கடிதம் உனக்கு தந்தேன்"
Unconditional
love is Allan Winston's mantra for a trouble-free life. He adds - “To
love is simple and easy. One should not expect any possibility of reciprocation
of the given affection. That said, Love is always worth the wait.” Love cannot
be achieved in a hurry and one waits for it as “the best poets wait for words”.
(Nizzim Ezekiel)
Allan's
poetic perspective of him being the more “loving one” in a
relationship is starkly reminiscent of poet W.H. Auden's affecting lyric “The
More Loving One":
“How
should we like it were stars to burn
With
a passion for us we could not return?
If
equal affection cannot be,
Let
the more loving one be me.”
Haleem
was beyond himself when he expressed his love for German Shepherds. According
to him, the endless love offered by the pets are unmatched and their
companionship will forever remain faithful.
Dr.
Rufus, here, applauded Haleem's “inclusive approach”
to Love and further spoke about how “all life” on this planet deserves respect.
In
connection to this point, Sir shifted the spotlight on
English primatologist Jane Goodall, who studied the behaviour of Chimpanzees in
East Africa for 60 years. Her startling discoveries changed the way humans
understood the animal kingdom.
The
domain of Love never failed to fascinate Ganesh. He
came out all guns blazing at the notion of love being bifurcated into “to love”
and “be loved”. With his great
experience on this matter, he asserted - “Love is both loving and being loved;
otherwise it cannot be called Love. This is not a game of ratios and it is
delusional to even think of separating them.”
He
emphasised on the idea of “Oneness” required to make any
relationship work. In this regard, he underlines the ancient Chinese philosophy
of Taoism, which advocates one to commune with nature, by bringing oneself into
a state of “oneness” with the Tao (translates to “the way” - the ultimate
creative principle of the universe). The founder of Taoism, Lao Tzu, asked
people to be like water - flow with life to live in harmony with the world.
Similarly,
Ganesh wants this “oneness” in love as well. He then quoted the lines
of Chilean Poet Pablo Neruda from “Sonnet VXI”, which vouches for his idea of
unity in love -
“...
this form in which I am not nor are you,
so
close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so
close that your eyes close with my dreams.”
He
then proceeded to argue that since the comparative
degree in the question - Easier - requires at least two things to make a
comparison and all we have in Love is a single entity crafted through the
“all-encompassing oneness”, the question asked no longer holds water. He said -
“My idea of oneness renders this question invalid. That's all your honour! I
rest my case.”
Franz
Kafka once wrote in a letter to Milena, “And actually it's not at
all you I love, but rather the existence you have bestowed on me.” Speaking on
similar terms, Manimaran firmly believes that when one is in love, even pain
and suffering can give “immense pleasure”.
Maran
established his allegiance to the “loving side”,
saying it is easier to love and find happiness in “pain”. On top of that, Na.
Muthukumar's “Pogadhey Pogadhey” came to his aid to further highlight the point
he made:
“கல்லறையில் கூட
ஜன்னல் ஒன்று வைத்து உந்தன் முகம் பார்ப்பேனடி”
Pointing
to a lizard on the wall, Sir explained how the kutty reptile
travels all around the room, getting an all-inclusive perspective of the class.
In the same way, even in relationships, it is only fair that we consider the
varied viewpoints without reservation and keep an open mind at all times.
Concluding, sir skillfully slipped in the idea of “focalisation” by French
Literary Theorist Gérard Genette.
“They
who love in excess also hate in excess,” notes the legendary Aristotle
in his political treatise The Politics.
True to these words, Angela, for the first time in the discussion, made the
class ponder over the toxicity of love-hate relationships where love “becomes
cold through time”.
Furthermore,
she elaborated on how the toxic individual in a relationship
harms the other person emotionally and psychologically. In that case, it
becomes crucial to know “where to stop” and how to deal with situations, never
letting it become a “habit”.
As
for dealing with unrequited love, Angela calls our
attention to a sacrificial kind of lovers - Sacrificers - who do not hesitate
to give away their time and effort to only suffer and suffer. They will learn
to get on with pain and move forward, feels the sagacious Angela.
The
life-changing intensity of love sometimes sweeps the
weak-hearted off their track, rendering them lifeless for being unable to
handle rejection. It is not for nothing that George Bernard Shaw called Love
“the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and transient of passions.”
Speaking
on how to deal with rejections in love life, Rufus sir advised
the class to never be the “pawn” in a relationship and let someone throw a
blanket over another's life.
“A
rejection is God's way of protection,” declared sir,
encouraging the students to look at the wider picture of life as opposed to one heart-breaking instance. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, one should seek to
evolve as a better person by tracking the next growing opportunity.
Also,
one should strictly abstain from maligning the name of the former lover
by bad-mouthing behind their backs. Instead, adopt the matured approach of
respecting their choices and wishing them best in life.
“It
changes overtime,” remarks Cathlin on the dynamic nature of
any relationship. She also added that
till the reciprocal connection is formed, it is easy to be loved. Once the
beautiful connection is established, it is easy to shower our love. Moreover,
the mutual reciprocation and attention will healthily sustain the bond of love
in the long run.
The
Jane Eyre-esque take of Cathy on the joy of being loved
takes one back to Thornfield Hall, where Jane is warmly greeted by Mrs.
Fairfax, after which she declares - “There is no happiness like that of being
loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition
to their comfort.”
Weighing
in next was Sunyogitha with an equally compelling
point - waiting for love is a burden too heavy to carry at times. Separation
from love has been the theme of many Literatures.
To
add more weight to her argument - I would introduce the Five Hundred Short Poems of the
classical Tamil poetic work Ainkurunuru (ஐங்குறுநூறு)
into this ongoing conversation. The text consists of five sections, with each
section focusing on one of the five Tinais (landscapes) of reciprocal love, a
genre first described by Tolkappiyam (தொல்காப்பியம்).
Out
of the grand total of 500 poems, 300 of them (Neytal,
Palai and Mullai) focus on separation, absence and Patient Waiting!
Here's
a sample from Tamil Sangam Poetry - Kuṟunthokai 82 (குறுந்தொகை)
Love's
Anxiety
Gently
he would stroke
my
long and curly hair
and
put his arms around me.
'Don't
cry,' he would say
as
he wiped away my tears
What
has become of him now?
In
the hillman's mountain fields
where
the millet harvest is over
the
lush country beans
have
started blooming.
Even
in this cold winter
he
hasn't come home.
(What
she said to her friend about her anxiety over the lover's absence)
In
the end, is there a better person than Preethi to bring
the spirited session to a close?
The
prompter of this enigmatic question believes that being
loved is less strenuous than the loving kind. And to love, she adds that one
needs to look beyond people's shortcomings.
'Love
is for the ones brave in heart,' continued Preethi. Only
after coming to terms that you are in love, can you go around expressing it.
As
the popular saying goes, 'there's no such thing as bad
publicity,' Preethi believes that quantity does not matter in love. She
endorses her standpoint with a Hindi proverb - 'Badh naam hua tho kya hua, kuch
toh naam hua na' (So what if you have got a bad name, at least you have a
name!).
Next,
the unexpressed love in one's life is brought to the
fore. We are “silently loved” by people all the time. You are the world to
someone from somewhere in the world, so keep loving, finishes Preethi with her
signature smile.
In
a fitting finale, we arrive at a conclusion that Love
will forever remain fashionable, for it is the ultimate essence of life, as
Victor Hugo says - "To love or have loved, that is enough. Demand nothing
more. There is no other pearl to be found in the shadowy folds of life. To love
is a fulfillment."
Finally,
‘You will always be loved’ is the message the II MA class
sends to the world.
You
are alwaysss loved!❤️
Teacher’s
Remarks: Thank you for this highly engaging presentation dear Ganesh. You've so beautifully brought out the aura and ambience of it all! And well, the way the discussions gathered steam and forged
ahead with such gusto in class, based on Preethi’s thought-provoking question, is
indeed really really awesome!
Way
to go, dear II MA English
class!
So
proud of you to the moon and back!
Stay
vibrant as always!
1.
“The Internet Classics Archive: Politics by Aristotle.” The Internet Classics Archive | Politics by Aristotle,
http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/politics.7.seven.html.
2.
Ramakrishnan, S, et al. Katha Vilasam: The Story Within. Routledge, 2022.
3.
Robertson, Evan. “Victor Hugo.” Obvious
State, Obvious State, 16 Jan. 2021,
https://obviousstate.com/blogs/journal/victor-hugo#:~:text=The%20full%20quotation%20from%20Les,the%20shadowy%20folds%20of%20life.
4.
Sousa, Ronald De. Love: A Very Short Introduction. Oxford University Press,
2015.
5.
Venkatachalapathy, A.R. Love Stands Alone: Selections from Tamil Sangam Poetry.
Penguin Books, 2013.
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