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Surprise Interview with Invaluable Takeaways!
Rendezvous with Mrs. Jemima W
Student
Counsellor, MCC
27th June
2023
Well, it was totally an unplanned interview of sorts! 😊
Mrs. Jemima W, the Student Counsellor, paid a visit to the Deanery today to meet with me, in order to discuss an event that’s on the cards.
After having mapped the event, I then suggested to her, that we could meet with our Vice Principal [SFS], Dr. Jannet Vennila, to discuss effective event-related strategies.
Mrs. Jemima gladly agreed.
That’s how we went to our VP’s chamber. Dr. Jannet who is quite well-known for her cordiality and her warm hospitality, soon ordered that much-needed coffee for all of us. 😊
After we had finished on the event discussions, I slowly let out the surprise, saying, ‘Mrs. Jemima, I have a little surprise in store for you. We thought of getting some valuable inputs from you, based on your experience as Student Counsellor all these years’.
Mrs. Jemima was literally, totally caught off-guard, but she quite gladly agreed.
Then started our pleasant interactions over cups of coffee 😊
On an aside, Mrs. Jemima has been a great hit with the students, thanks to her genial spirit, and the warmth she exudes while interacting with students - she has been such a great guide to the student community especially during the post-pandemic times, when, as she puts it, counsellors mostly had to shift from Emotional Focus Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Trauma-focussed Therapy!
Mrs. Jemima’s laudable role in counseling our students especially during the post-pandemic times, is indeed invaluable. Although she has put in her papers, students still have a great penchant for her counsel, her valuable thoughts, and for her comforting words.
What better way, than to interview Mrs. Jemima, and jot down some valuable ideas that emerged from this fruitful discussion-time, for all of us, in the noblest of professions!
So here goes –
Qn: Ma’am, could you tell us about one good and one not-so-good behavioral pattern that you’ve personally observed in today’s students?
Well, students today have tremendous talent and abundant potential within them. If given the right motivation and proper impetus, they are capable of overcoming any kind of challenge, and any kind of clutter that enslaves them.
On one not-so-good aspect, she observed that, students today are not educated on how to handle their freedom in a responsible manner.
Qn: Who do you think plays a vital role in shaping a student for the better?
Although parents come first, I feel that, teachers play a crucial role in bringing about a transformation in the student.
Qn: How would you envisage this ‘crucial role’ for the College teacher, ma’am?
Well, the student expects the teacher to be easily approachable.
I should add to say that, one redeeming quality I find in students today is that, they don’t complain about their teachers anytime, when they come for counselling.
Well, every teacher should double up as a mentor.
In this regard, they should build a therapeutic trust-based relationship with the student.
They should be non-judgmental, and give a supportive ear to the student. Everyone of us has a past! So we should stop judging the student for the little fault that they do!
When we brand a child as ‘fit for nothing’ or ‘useless’, they are not healed in any way. Instead, they tend to carry the hurt and the pain for generations on them.
Love includes discipline. In other words, discipline is a part of love! As teachers and parents we should remember this aspect as well. Trouble crops up, only when we prioritise discipline over love, and vice versa.
While interacting with their teachers, the student should not face a barrier or a middle wall at any point of time!
Again, it’s very important for the teacher to give out a very supportive message to the student – ‘I’m there for you’.
Parents and teachers should educate the child that any kind of addiction is bad. Some have an extreme addiction for watching pornography and gaming. Some others have an addiction for online purchases! Some others are addicted to social media sites for hours together.
The student should be taught in a gentle way, how any kind of addiction is bad for them.
There are students who go through depression, bipolar disorder, etc. Hence teachers should be very cautious while handling such students as well.
Qn: What, in your opinion are the major reasons for a student not being able to give their full potential in their academic life in College?
First and foremost, I would say, Emotional Crisis with cognitive distortions or thought & emotion crisis, that arises mostly from their childhood conditioning / belief systems. School/College is the place where it is manifested in the open.
Secondly, Relationship issues. Students have difficulty in relating with their classmates or teachers. They don’t come for any academic issues. Mostly they blame their parents, for not being there for them. Growing up in dysfunctional families, in toxic environments, they don’t seem to trust anyone.
Some students become rebellious in school/college, because of parental upbringing. One reason why, it is very important to build trust among children in the family. The parents should give a non-judgmental ear to their child, and thereby build trust!
Parenting/bonding is not based on economic or social status.
Thirdly, sexual abuse in the past is one reason for low self-esteem.
Qn: Could you outline a few ways in which students can come out of their stress and peer-pressure?
Outdoor exercises in any form, are very important to give the right frame of mind to the student.
Reading (hard copies of books), is very important as well.
Finally, healthy food is very important.
The College Library can stack a lot more of self-help books.
As an individual, first and foremost, I should have respect for myself. This would automatically result in respect for others.
Talking behind one’s back, should be avoided at all costs!
In the place where I was taught, it was considered unethical to talk behind a person’s back.
After the student leaves, some teachers start telling stories about them. It would be great, if we could cultivate the habit of not talking anything about a person in their absence!
Gossip, as they say, is akin to slander and even murder, because we murder the person’s very character by indulging in gossip.
It’s imperative for teachers to have logical conversations with their wards. In this regard, integrating neuro-science helps!
A few books that I would advocate are –
The Knight in Rusty Armor by Robert Fisher - story that is a must-read, which is greatly helpful in solving more than 80% of the problems.
Signature Sins: Taming Our Wayward Hearts by Michael Mangis is yet another motivational read.
I would also recommend the book titled, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols, as a must-read for teachers and parents.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown.
There’s nothing like having a good word for a student, appreciating a student, or saying an encouraging word to a student!
This goes a long way in enhancing harmony, wellness and a sense of purpose amongst the young minds, signs off Mrs. Jemima on a highly positive note!
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