Neerkumizhi and Being Happy
‘On what
criteria do you choose a film for watching?’
Friends quite often ask us this question, ain’t they?
And well, each of us has our own stock-replies to this question! ;-)
Well, for me, personally, I
go by friend-recommends! :-)
From friends who
double up as film buffs!
In like fashion,
I chanced upon legendary film director K. Balachander’s directorial debut movie
titled, ‘Neerkumizhi’ (Water bubble), that saw its maiden silver screen release in the year 1965.
Many things about
the movie have so intrigued and captivated me!
That’s because a
lot of noble themes run concurrently in the course of this 2 hrs, 09 min and 21
sec movie!
No spoilers
though! ;-)
The movie begins
with a famous football player getting injured while playing a crucial decider
match, and is then admitted in hospital.
In the seventh
ward of this hospital, where he’s admitted, a young and sprightly lady doctor walks up to all her
patients and enquires about their health.
Then she comes up
to the bed of the injured football player, Arun.
Arun is shown seated on his bed, and he looks quite
dejected!
The doctor then enquires if he’s had a good night’s sleep.
Arun replies with tears in his eyes that he’s not had a good night’s sleep for many days in a row, as he felt cheated at not being able to make it to the International match with the Russian football team due to his sudden injury.
The doctor then enquires if he’s had a good night’s sleep.
Arun replies with tears in his eyes that he’s not had a good night’s sleep for many days in a row, as he felt cheated at not being able to make it to the International match with the Russian football team due to his sudden injury.
The cheerful
doctor then tells him with such positivity brimming in her words,
‘Mr. Arun, this
world is like a beautiful book. And the book will not be of any use whatsoever, to a person who doesn’t want to read and
understand it!’
These words give
hope to the footballer and he tells the doctor on a pretty hopeful note,
‘Doctor, if I get
to play against the Russian team, I would be so very grateful to you for all of
my dear life!’
to which the
doctor replies,
‘Yes! you will
not only play against Russia, but you are also going to captain the Indian team
to Russia’,
she says with
such conviction in her tone!
Then she proceeds
to show the footballer a terminally ill patient on the adjacent bed, by name
Sethu, who, although he knows that he has just a short time left to live, brims with joy and hope all of the time, and
gives cheer, hope and happiness to everyone around him all of the time!
He is aptly named
Sethu! And rightfully so!
Sethu’s joyous
attitude to his life forms the crux and the rest of the story!
The film also
sports such memorable songs that are highly philosophical in its import!
Travelling back
in time, and watching such past-blessed movies, that have suchmuch wonderful
themes and messages for our everyday life and living, is rejuvenating to the
core, and acts an amazing therapy for our souls as well!
And well, that
takes us to a discussion on today’s lovely book, written by ‘happiness-specialist’
Professor Tal Ben Shahar, and it’s titled, Being
Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life!
Being Happy gives us readers,
such simplistic solutions towards making the most of our everyday life by being
happy and making others around us happy all of the time!
I was so reminded
of the Shakespearean oft-quoted line,
'Striving to better,
oft we mar what's well’,
which could be
paraphrased as, ‘Perfect is the enemy of good!’
And that is in
essence, the underlying theme of this lovely inspirational book.
The blurb to the
book puts it so beautifully –
‘Ben-Shahar shows
you how to escape the rat race and begin living a life of serenity, happiness,
and fulfillment!’
Ben acknowledges in
his Preface to the book, that his studies
in the science of positive psychology have helped him formulate his theories in
this, his inspirational read!
In his field
studies done amongst a variety of people from all walks of life, Ben finds out
that, people, across professions and disciplines have always been excited about
leading a happier life, but quite unfortunately, they all share a major
obstacle to becoming happier – and that’s the aspiration to being perfect!
Says Ben –
People would comment that I myself didn’t seem to be
bursting with joy as, they thought, a “happiness expert” ought to be happy at
every moment.
And when I would talk about my failures or my fears, they
would express surprise that I considered myself happy despite such undesirable
experiences.
Underlying both of these reactions is the assumption
that truly happy people are somehow immune from feeling sadness, fear, and
anxiety or from experiencing failures and setbacks in life.
The pervasiveness of this assumption—across
generations, continents, and cultures—made me realize something astounding: I
was surrounded by Perfectionists! And they were all, in one way or another, suffering
the harmful consequences of perfectionism!
And just one
little snippet from the introduction to Ben’s book!
Here goes Ben again -
My first two years of college had been unhappy.
I always felt that the sword of Damocles was hanging
over my head.
What if I missed a crucial word during a lecture?
What if I was caught off guard during a seminar and was
unable to answer the professor’s question?
What if I didn’t have a chance to proofread my paper
for a third and final time before submitting it?
Any of these situations could lead to an imperfect
performance, to failure, and to the end of the possibility of becoming the kind
of person and attaining the kind of life that I envisioned for myself.
That day, standing at my professor’s door, one of my
great fears materialized.
I failed to get an A.
I rushed back to my room and locked the door behind me.
Nobody likes to fail, but there is a difference between
a normal aversion to failure and an intense fear of failure.
Aversion to failure motivates us to take necessary
precautions and to work harder to achieve success.
By contrast, intense fear of failure often handicaps
us, making us reject failure so vigorously that we cannot take the risks that
are necessary for growth.
This fear not only compromises our performance but jeopardizes
our overall psychological well-being.
We see intense fear of failure in schoolchildren who do
not venture outside the box, who stop experimenting, and who thus diminish
their ability to learn and to grow.
We see it in college students who become chronic
procrastinators, afraid to begin a project if they are not certain of a perfect
outcome.
We see it in the workplace, where innovation is sacrificed
on the altar of the tried-and-true, the safe—and the mediocre.
The key difference between the Perfectionist and the
Optimalist is that the former essentially rejects reality while the latter
accepts it.
The Perfectionist expects her path toward any goal—and,
indeed, her entire journey through life—to be direct, smooth, and free of
obstacles.
When, inevitably, it isn’t—when, for instance, she
fails at a task, or when things don’t quite turn out the way she expected— she
is extremely frustrated and has difficulty coping.
While the Perfectionist rejects failure, the Optimalist
accepts it as a natural part of life and as an experience that is inextricably
linked to success.
In essence, Perfectionists reject everything that
deviates from their flawless, faultless ideal vision, and as a result they
suffer whenever they do not meet their own unrealistic standards.
Optimalists accept, and make the best of, everything
that life has to offer!
These are just
snippets and teasers for you to grab a copy for yourselves rightaway!
So yes! remember
this –
It’s okay to
fail!
It’s okay if you haven’t
cleared your NET in your first or second or third or fourth attempt even!
It’s okay to make
mistakes!
Be an optimalist! :-)
as often as could
be!
and if possible…
Always! ;-)
And that helps make a phenomenal difference on your attitude towards life!
And howww! ;-)
image: pinterestdotcom