26 August 1994 | Teen Tugs
#memoriesfromdiaries
From 27 years ago | HSC Days
[And well, before you go ahead, please do bear in mind that these are a teenager’s musings down memory-lane, via diary-lane, of some 27 years ago!]
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| From my personal diary entry, 26 August 1994 |
Morning woke up at 5.30 am, and went for roll call to the beautiful, rain-drenched playground! 🌨️🌨️🌨️
We were asked to go for just one round around the playground because of the heavy rains that had finished on their date with the city for the whole of the last past night!
Well, you see, I’ve always had this quaint fascination for those little puddles of water that spring up so sweet after the rains!
And today was my ‘field’ day on the puddles 😎 - puddles - that had freshly carved a niche for themselves in such sweet snatches and patches, all over the playfield!
There’s this something about the rain water that makes it so enticing and so alluring, that every now and then, I became so engrossed on these fascinating rain-water puddles, and hence began to heartily indulge myself in that once-in-a-rain-time luxury of drenching my legs in toto, on those beautiful temporal, rain-made, rain-designed, rain-crafted water cisterns! 😍
Nature’s craft at its best! 👌
On this particular day, something happened!
Sunil fought with me for some reason, and as a result, didn’t talk with me.
Since he was the one who didn’t talk with me, I also stayed put, not extending the proverbial olive branch, waiting for his anger to vaporize into thin air, and then for him to extend it!
[PS: Since it’s almost three decades now, thought of opening up for the very first time on this bitter-sweet episode, with the avowed aim of helping out some good soul who’s going through a similar predicament!
Cos, even today, this past episode continues to reverberate on me!
Say for example, if a person today, continues to give me a string of incessant non-stop calls over the phone, I feel a tad bit insecure and threatened, so much that, I even go to the extent of blocking them from off my phone and my life forever!
Whoever they may be! 🙈
That’s hence wanted to share this part of the diary, which I also feel is highly therapeutic, and helps in giving me a great sense of closure as well!]
You see, he was extremely-extremely-extremely possessive of me!
He had very few friends.
With others he won’t smile or laugh or speak his heart out. With me he was his usual self, cheerful and happy all of the time!
So he wanted me to be always there with him, and listen to him, sing to him, talk to him, and exchange stories with him!
But that wasn’t my way at all! 🙈
I had a host of other friends also who mattered to me lots! Who were so cheerful, bubbly, vibrant and happy-go-lucky types! 👬👬
Just because he felt a bit possessive about me, doesn’t mean I’ve to oblige him all of the time, to his dictates and bidding, ain’t it?
Say for example, I went for coffee or breakfast or lunch with any other friend, he would be so angry that he’d come straight to my cubicle, when I was busy on some work or the other, and pick up a quarrel with me!
‘Why did you leave me and go?’ was his most common refrain!
I guess that’s only because he somehow failed to realise that his friend is also another human being who also has his own sweet individuality and space, the same way he does!
He wanted me caged to his whims and fancies, and dance to his tunes all of the time, as if my sweet and doting parents had been expending a royal fortune of a sum on me, enrolling me in the hostel here just to be subservient to his dictatorial whims and fancies every other day!
On this particular day, he picked up a tussle with me for one such flimsy-o-flimsy reason, and hence didn’t talk to me for some time!
Evening, I was in the playground, when he came all the way and spoke to me!
I too, for my part, quite forgetful and completely unaware of the fact that he had fought with me just the morning, went all the way and spoke to him! 😍
Only later did I realise that we had had a tiff, indeed! 😋
He had to go for an eye test today!
Well, in this regard, I also wish to reiterate that, but for this aspect of possessiveness, he was such an amazing friend. 😎
But possessiveness is not a virtue, ain’t it? 🙈
It takes a heavy toll on a person’s individuality, making them more a victim than a friend in the process, ain’t it?
That’s hence, on this backdrop, me thought of sharing some little musings on friendship!
Well, possessiveness becomes a strain on any good friendship!
Possessiveness leads to demands on your time, leading to extremes of dependency, stifling your unique voice, your sense of individuality, and freedom in the process!
Possessiveness may sometimes even lead to cunning and manipulation with the aim of controlling a friend by all means!
That’s hence possessiveness leads to aggressiveness at times!
Teaches us lots on the importance of respecting a friend’s space and boundaries, ain’t it?
And when does a friend do that?
When they have trust and respect for you!
As the philosopher Cicero once famously said,
‘Nothing endures that cannot be trusted!’
And a toxic friendship is sure gotta have a negative effect on your mental health as well!
Friendships are sweet, voluntary relationships, that are mutually enriching, empowering and energizing!
Yes, they are mutually satisfying as well!
Each and every one of us deserves to have a friend who will build us up, not put us down!
A friend who will make us, not break us!
A friend who will make us feel better all the time! Not bitter all the time!
A friend who will give wings to our imaginations, not clip them off!
In short, if a friendship doesn’t empower you or make you breathe easy, it’s about time you give a rethink on that friendship!
Because, life is too short to be spent on a space that’s so stifled, wingless and disempowered, in toxic company, when there’s a beautiful bright world out there waiting for you to fly high-o-high, dance to your own sweet beat, in your own unique ways, all through your sweet and precious days in the company of friends who respect you - your space - and your place - in their lives!
That brings us back to the tagline of this post -
Respect is the greatest expression of Love! 🥰
How sweet and how true! 😇😇😇
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