It’s time to stop talking about "feminism"!
Sai Shri R | 28/2/23
“Feminism” means “equality” and I believe that the latter proves to be better!
While it’s important to learn feminism and issues associated with women empowerment from History, feminism itself is a very Indian concept often westernised.
There are umpteen number of reasons to stop thinking about feminism and I am trying to list down some of the ones I believe to be prominent.
Clinging to the old weak branches of issues related to women empowerment blinds us from seeing the existing ones. While women suffered a great deal of harassment in the past and as many may argue they still do, soap operas contribute a great deal to set lower and in some cases no expectations at all.
Times have changed! While in most cases men are portrayed as mamma’s boys, let’s do a reality check!
Yes! There are men who don’t spend time with their wives and would want to spend time with their parents more, but don’t we see couples seeking therapy for the same, isn’t that a step forward?
We have learnt to analyse red flags in relationships and marriages from history and we have learned to walk away from them. It’s easier for manipulative men and their side to get us to believe that toxicity is normal if we don’t see the improvement that shines right in front of our eyes.
It’s easier for misogynists to make a woman see harassment as normalcy, if we don’t see the majority of good men willing to learn and unlearn.
Most in-laws are normal people believing in equality, trying to get the daughter-in-law unlearn the deep rooted insecurities and the beliefs gathered up halfway that a mother-in-law is the ruler of the house, most in-laws in cosmopolitan societies want their daughter-in-laws to excel in their respective fields.
I have seen my dad stand up for my mom umpteen number of times and I have also seen how he stands up for himself and for her, like the gentleman that he is, when he is taunted for the same.
We aren’t the first generation seeing women empowerment; it has been there for aeons now. But the negativity proves its might giving a nice time for misogynistic people. It’s time for us to come out of it.
Negativity attracts negativity. Many of the present-day relationship problems aren’t related to feminism, it has got a lot to do with communication issues. Us feminists don’t hate men, we hate inequality. When we say so, we must also be very careful not to abuse men as abuse doesn’t see faces or sexes, it only has the abuser and the one being abused.
While many men learning to do the household chores and cooking, the chances of women being looked at as maids that bring home salary are less. It is still important for women stick to their terms of spending the money that they earn.
Now we haven’t done away with inequality, we still find inequality in our society. But most often in the workplaces, where a man with lesser efficiency still feels somehow superior to his women counterparts who are actually better than him.
We have bigger problems like gender playing a very important role in pay gap, while our previous generations opted for single child, this pay gap is a real problem we face, causing repercussions in health and living conditions for the elderly.
While feminism still means equality, let’s consider ourselves as individuals and not as a man and a woman when it comes to equality, let’s consider ourselves as employees and not allow ourselves to be categorised as male and female employees, emphasising equal opportunities and equal pay and benefits.
Using the alternative term “equality” gives a lot more scope for women to achieve equal rights starting from making the decision to choose a nuclear or joint family, it becomes a lot more easier to break gender barriers thereby breaking gender associated responsibilities.
I believe that in the current context, gender is personal and it is important to be seen as individuals.
Redefining the term "Feminism" with what it is supposed to be. Placing feminism against "male chauvinism" is what gets the waters turbid. Individuals and individual freedom is the need of the hour. Rightly said. Having agreed with most of the points, the statement "It is still important for women stick to their terms of spending the money that they earn" is disputable, needs a bit of clarification and understanding. It may be agreeable for spinsters, but married woman need to pool her income with that of her husband's and spend a percentage for her personal expenses. That said, the article is a good read.
ReplyDelete“Many of the present-day relationship problems aren’t related to feminism, it has got a lot to do with communication issues”.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Indeed, there is certainly a great connection between communication and relationship satisfaction.
A healthy communication / interaction is most important for any healthy relationships.
It simply means that, one is able to talk openly and honestly with their partner, in order to sustain the bonds.
Communication also helps greatly in reducing / resolving conflicts and misunderstandings. Let’s be honest: Certainly, every relationship will have some sort of conflict or the other from time to time.
It’s natural. However, the important thing here is, coming forward to talk to each other openly, without any grudge or grouse, in an open and honest way, in order to resolve any kind of conflict.
So yes. As the writer has rightly said, it isn’t fair to ascribe most of the problems to feminism. Communication issues form a slice of the issue too.
Nice article Sai Shri madam.
Ever since she was a first UG student, we've always seen Sai Shri writing down her thoughts in her own unique ways. She's got an amazing literary sensibility that's so uniquely hers. Her style is so spontaneous and elegant, that she takes you along with her in the process of reading through her lines and paragraphs. We her teachers have always seen her with paper and pen, writing a poem or two, almost every single day, datelining each of her creations in the process.
ReplyDeleteI was telling my II MA kids just this last week, to come out with their thoughts, and put them in writing, thus celebrating their unique voice, their unique, sweet ways.
Writing is an expression. Expression of your thoughts, your ideas. [Emphasis on ‘your’]
Not only that, it gives you a voice. It gives you a tone! Your unique voice. Your unique tone! When you’ve got a compelling idea or a thought on any particular issue, without having second thoughts, just put them down in paper [could be a blog or a vlog or a diary].
Whatever the medium, just keep celebrating your unique voice in your unique style.
That’s the best way to celebrating your literary life, that you’re so richly blessed with, on this planet.
As her teachers, we are so proud of Sai Shri, who always voices her unique thoughts in her unique style – her unique way.
More power to you, our dear kiddo! We are so proud of you ma.